I read this short excerpt from the book by Bernard Cooper, Maps to Anywhere. It began with a reminiscence of the children's story of Cinderella. How she would spend her days sweeping cinders and waiting to be rescued by her prince. He used this to transition into how people will often accuse others of living to much in a fairy tale world. Their head is up in the clouds with their dreams, or it's stuck somewhere in the past. These people tell us to live in the 'now'.
Cooper goes on to describe the concept of 'now' as a tightrope between history-past and history-future....and some people have some clubbed feet. I believe that this is a pretty analogy regarding this concept. We are all walking this tightrope and those of us with clubbed feet are more prone to fall back into the past or into the unknown future. Either way it can be very damaging to someone's self worth. Because often times you will have these people who seem to always dwell over their actions in the past, or be anxious over things that haven't even happened yet, and might not even happen. Things that have occurred in the past are things that you cannot change, and the future is uncertain. I do believe that the only certainty is the 'now.'
However, Cooper makes good point when he states that "....You wish it was an hour from now. Or years ago. A fortune teller is not interested in predicting your Now. A psychiatrist is not paid to delve into your Now." Just because the concept of 'now' is the most certain it does not mean that people care about it. I think that this is because so many people are afraid of failure. Myself included. We dwell on the things that we have already lived and wonder how we could have done things differently to create a different future for ourselves. We could have said 'this' and things would have been so different. We over plan for our future because we don't want to make mistakes in getting to our ultimate goal. But we do not care about Now.
As the final paragraph on the first page of this story comes to a close, Cooper ties in his first analogy of Cinderella describing himself 'polishing his phrases on chapped knees, sweeping dirty words under the rug, and singing the only song that he knows.' The final paragraph of the entire story kind of turns the concept of 'Now' into an uncertainty. Cooper speaks of the end of the world and how it could happen at any given time. It could even happen now. I think that's a good way to end this chapter. It kind of sheds a light on how we don't really have control over as many things as we wish that we did.
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Thursday, March 20, 2014
14.03.20 The Samurai / Rereading and Rewriting - Natalie Goldberg : A Response
When reading these two chapters I noticed that they were connected in a few ways. In 'The Samurai' I noticed that a common theme was "being honest with yourself in your writing." Often times as writers, we will one day be struck with an idea that simply NEEDS to be put to paper. Unfortunately, while it very well may be an excellent idea, it doesn't fit in your story! But, you just CAN'T let it go! When will you get another idea like this again?! So, you do your best to make it fit, and ends up just not flowing at all. As Goldberg phrased it "...Quit beating an old horse." This is something that I realize I also need to work on. I don't know if I am honest with myself when reading my own work. I might even be over critical and just hate everything that I write all together.
After reading this chapter I moved onto the 'Rereading and Rewriting' chapter and noticed that, when paired with the previous one, it seemed to flow together nicely. When Goldberg said that it was a good idea to wait a while before rereading your work, that kind of took be by surprise. That is something I am not used to. Most of my knowledge on 'how to write' has come from my secondary education. In school once your rough draft is finished you are told to reread it and check over it for spelling, grammar, and other errors. But you are never given any "time away from your writing." You could also have peer reviews, which let's face it, in high school are NOT effective in anyway. Just to give an example, when doing peer reviews in class I would give my writing to someone, often times a person I that I was paired up with by my teacher, and I would awkwardly watch them read my piece. After "reading" my work this person would look up at me, hand me back my paper and say "it's good." And when the time came around for ME to read their piece if I didn't think their writing was up to par, or give them the same response they had given me, it would almost be deemed as being arrogant! A small critique as simple as "you forgot to capitalize" would get you a stink eye burning in the back of your head for the rest of the semester.
I've noticed that when I can actually come back to my writing after an extended period of time, I am more aware of mistakes, and willing to make changes to sentences. I'll even cut out huge chunks of paragraphs and end up with an even smaller piece than I started out with. I become more honest with my work in saying if it is good or bad. Unfortunately when I actually write out of my own leisure time I will become bored with my story, and throw it in a folder and never look at it again. I have this thing about starting over when I try to complete something that I don't like. (I know I do this a lot but I'm going to compare this to when I'm painting.) If I am painting an oil painting for example, and I realize the composition could be different, or the color scheme looks off, I will scrap that piece and start a completely different one!. Someone else would think it was crazy, spending four or more hours on a painting, realizing you could change it and then starting completely over from scratch. But, it honestly doesn't bother me. I have confidence in my creative abilities I guess. This is the same with my writing. If I realize something could be changed to make it better. I will often times just start over! I think it's because I like having a clean slate, or a blank canvas to work with. It's nice not knowing how your work will exactly turn out. Even if you have an end goal in mind, getting there will be different every time.
After reading this chapter I moved onto the 'Rereading and Rewriting' chapter and noticed that, when paired with the previous one, it seemed to flow together nicely. When Goldberg said that it was a good idea to wait a while before rereading your work, that kind of took be by surprise. That is something I am not used to. Most of my knowledge on 'how to write' has come from my secondary education. In school once your rough draft is finished you are told to reread it and check over it for spelling, grammar, and other errors. But you are never given any "time away from your writing." You could also have peer reviews, which let's face it, in high school are NOT effective in anyway. Just to give an example, when doing peer reviews in class I would give my writing to someone, often times a person I that I was paired up with by my teacher, and I would awkwardly watch them read my piece. After "reading" my work this person would look up at me, hand me back my paper and say "it's good." And when the time came around for ME to read their piece if I didn't think their writing was up to par, or give them the same response they had given me, it would almost be deemed as being arrogant! A small critique as simple as "you forgot to capitalize" would get you a stink eye burning in the back of your head for the rest of the semester.
I've noticed that when I can actually come back to my writing after an extended period of time, I am more aware of mistakes, and willing to make changes to sentences. I'll even cut out huge chunks of paragraphs and end up with an even smaller piece than I started out with. I become more honest with my work in saying if it is good or bad. Unfortunately when I actually write out of my own leisure time I will become bored with my story, and throw it in a folder and never look at it again. I have this thing about starting over when I try to complete something that I don't like. (I know I do this a lot but I'm going to compare this to when I'm painting.) If I am painting an oil painting for example, and I realize the composition could be different, or the color scheme looks off, I will scrap that piece and start a completely different one!. Someone else would think it was crazy, spending four or more hours on a painting, realizing you could change it and then starting completely over from scratch. But, it honestly doesn't bother me. I have confidence in my creative abilities I guess. This is the same with my writing. If I realize something could be changed to make it better. I will often times just start over! I think it's because I like having a clean slate, or a blank canvas to work with. It's nice not knowing how your work will exactly turn out. Even if you have an end goal in mind, getting there will be different every time.
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
14.02.06 : The Girl with the Blackened Eye - A Response
My reaction to this fiction piece was simple. I was hurt by reading it. I felt my heart breaking. Selfishly I put myself in the main character's situation. I think that by not giving her a name the author allows any female reader to be able to fall into this character.
My younger sister is turning 15. I thought about her while reading this as well. I always think about her. How talented she is, how much she has going for her, and how proud I am of her. I can't imagine something like this happening to anyone close to me. But, it does happen.
Can you imagine being in a situation like that. I've heard of children being kidnapped, and they would end up developing 'feelings' for their kidnapper. To be manipulated in that way is sick and upsetting. Can you imagine that feeling of helplessness and uncertainty that you would live to see the next morning. You submit to your kidnappers demands because you're afraid to do anything else. It's sad, it's very very sad. Oates executes this piece very well. The description of the cabin and the main character's physical state really created something uncomfortable. You can taste the blood that was rotting in her mouth, you can feel your lips start to chap, and you get this disturbing kind of image in your mind; especially if you put yourself into her shoes.
The kidnapper we can see likes to be in control. He picks up women and used them until they are dried out. They no longer please him, and since they can't do anything to stop him he goes to extremes to dispose of these women. But why does he keep the narrator around? What makes her so special? Maybe her assumptions were correct in the idea that the kidnapper did not realize how young this girl actually was. Perhaps he has a soft spot for children? She was submissive, and innocent. Maybe he kept her around because she didn't know any better to do differently. Because of this he was successful in manipulating her. As we can clearly tell by the situation towards the end of the story, our narrator is left alone with the stolen vehicle; keys in the ignition leaving a perfect opportunity for escape.
Not only did our narrator justify her actions because she was physically exhausted, but she chose not to escape because she claimed that she did not want to betray this man's trust. Now when you think back to what this man said earlier..."I'm going to give you your freedom." You can't honestly believe something like that. He himself is probably the least trustworthy person in her life at this point and she chooses to STAY. What does this say about the main character? And what does this say about the actions of our kidnapper? I think that the narrator was so easily given a way of escaping that it seemed too good to be true. She was scared of the outside world now because of this man. She's disfigured at the moment, people avert their eyes from her! She has had no contact with anyone else but this man for a week or more. He has used and abused her to a point where she should no longer have any self worth. BUT I think the way that this story ends REALLY says something. This girl has come out of this situation alive, and found another man whom she loves and has married and had children with. This means she did not develop a fear of men, or a fear of people. Unfortunately, she has never told anyone else about her past experiences. So maybe, she is afraid of re-living that entire situation? Or perhaps she is afraid of involving other people that she loves? I know I can relate to something like that.
Often times I will not express my own emotions/opinions simply because I believe if I tell someone it will make me into a weak person. I'm also afraid of disagreeing with someone. I hate to cause a conflict between myself and someone else.. I think that's mostly a self confidence issue on my end though.
BUT after experiencing something like that who's to say that this woman does not now have some issues with her self image and confidence??
Overall I believe this was extremely well written and delivered in a way that will certainly make you remember it.
My younger sister is turning 15. I thought about her while reading this as well. I always think about her. How talented she is, how much she has going for her, and how proud I am of her. I can't imagine something like this happening to anyone close to me. But, it does happen.
Can you imagine being in a situation like that. I've heard of children being kidnapped, and they would end up developing 'feelings' for their kidnapper. To be manipulated in that way is sick and upsetting. Can you imagine that feeling of helplessness and uncertainty that you would live to see the next morning. You submit to your kidnappers demands because you're afraid to do anything else. It's sad, it's very very sad. Oates executes this piece very well. The description of the cabin and the main character's physical state really created something uncomfortable. You can taste the blood that was rotting in her mouth, you can feel your lips start to chap, and you get this disturbing kind of image in your mind; especially if you put yourself into her shoes.
The kidnapper we can see likes to be in control. He picks up women and used them until they are dried out. They no longer please him, and since they can't do anything to stop him he goes to extremes to dispose of these women. But why does he keep the narrator around? What makes her so special? Maybe her assumptions were correct in the idea that the kidnapper did not realize how young this girl actually was. Perhaps he has a soft spot for children? She was submissive, and innocent. Maybe he kept her around because she didn't know any better to do differently. Because of this he was successful in manipulating her. As we can clearly tell by the situation towards the end of the story, our narrator is left alone with the stolen vehicle; keys in the ignition leaving a perfect opportunity for escape.
Not only did our narrator justify her actions because she was physically exhausted, but she chose not to escape because she claimed that she did not want to betray this man's trust. Now when you think back to what this man said earlier..."I'm going to give you your freedom." You can't honestly believe something like that. He himself is probably the least trustworthy person in her life at this point and she chooses to STAY. What does this say about the main character? And what does this say about the actions of our kidnapper? I think that the narrator was so easily given a way of escaping that it seemed too good to be true. She was scared of the outside world now because of this man. She's disfigured at the moment, people avert their eyes from her! She has had no contact with anyone else but this man for a week or more. He has used and abused her to a point where she should no longer have any self worth. BUT I think the way that this story ends REALLY says something. This girl has come out of this situation alive, and found another man whom she loves and has married and had children with. This means she did not develop a fear of men, or a fear of people. Unfortunately, she has never told anyone else about her past experiences. So maybe, she is afraid of re-living that entire situation? Or perhaps she is afraid of involving other people that she loves? I know I can relate to something like that.
Often times I will not express my own emotions/opinions simply because I believe if I tell someone it will make me into a weak person. I'm also afraid of disagreeing with someone. I hate to cause a conflict between myself and someone else.. I think that's mostly a self confidence issue on my end though.
BUT after experiencing something like that who's to say that this woman does not now have some issues with her self image and confidence??
Overall I believe this was extremely well written and delivered in a way that will certainly make you remember it.
14.03.05 : A Late Response - Writing Fiction
Fiction writing is probably one of my stronger talents when compared to my poetry. However, there are a few things that we have discussed in class that never seemed to cross my mind in the past.
When it comes to writing fiction, you have so much creative freedom. You create your own characters, their setting, their problems, and even their solutions. In the past whenever I would come up with a story, I would always start off knowing how it was going to end. Because of this I feel that I always seemed to rush through my work just to have the satisfaction of reaching this idealized ending that I would constantly be thinking of. I didn't take time to develop any characters, or create any original scenery. My characters would always have some unique name and maybe a defining sort of 'characteristic' that I would make completely obvious to the reader. I remember in one story that I wrote I really wanted one of my awkward male characters to always sprinkle fish flakes on his ice cream. I don't know what in the world possessed me to imagine a character like that, but I have never seen that done before.
In my head I always wanted my stories to be different, but most of the time my dialogue would sound too forced, or my plot just wouldn't go anywhere and more often than not I would give up on the story before I even made it past the exposition. After reading 'Writing Down the Bones' I have become more aware of the tools I can use to create a more successful work of fiction.
I believe that stories are driven by the characters and their interactions with others and their surroundings. A character's personality affects their actions and thus creates separate situations depending on the type of person that they are. We discussed in class how Goldberg explains the 'art' of character development. She explains how you should think of each character owning an acre of land. You can tell a lot about a person by how they take care of their property. Imagine how this person's house is built. What kind of things do they have in their yard? How's their landscaping? These were kinds of things that I never ever would have thought about in the past. You need to imagine your characters as actual people. Sure you know how you want your character to look, and what kind of personality you'd like them to have, but do you really know them? If you think of it in a way that can be applied to real life....When you see a stranger on the street, you make a predetermined judgement of them. As sad as that is to say it's true. You see a woman covered with tattoos and piercings pushing a small child in a shopping cart at the local grocery store you may think that she's not a good example for that child...BUT you do not know her. You do not know what her home life is like or why she has those tattoos, or why she decided to color her hair green. We all come from different walks of life and our actions have a purpose. So, it's important to think of these things even when creating someone that doesn't exist.
When it comes to writing fiction, you have so much creative freedom. You create your own characters, their setting, their problems, and even their solutions. In the past whenever I would come up with a story, I would always start off knowing how it was going to end. Because of this I feel that I always seemed to rush through my work just to have the satisfaction of reaching this idealized ending that I would constantly be thinking of. I didn't take time to develop any characters, or create any original scenery. My characters would always have some unique name and maybe a defining sort of 'characteristic' that I would make completely obvious to the reader. I remember in one story that I wrote I really wanted one of my awkward male characters to always sprinkle fish flakes on his ice cream. I don't know what in the world possessed me to imagine a character like that, but I have never seen that done before.
In my head I always wanted my stories to be different, but most of the time my dialogue would sound too forced, or my plot just wouldn't go anywhere and more often than not I would give up on the story before I even made it past the exposition. After reading 'Writing Down the Bones' I have become more aware of the tools I can use to create a more successful work of fiction.
I believe that stories are driven by the characters and their interactions with others and their surroundings. A character's personality affects their actions and thus creates separate situations depending on the type of person that they are. We discussed in class how Goldberg explains the 'art' of character development. She explains how you should think of each character owning an acre of land. You can tell a lot about a person by how they take care of their property. Imagine how this person's house is built. What kind of things do they have in their yard? How's their landscaping? These were kinds of things that I never ever would have thought about in the past. You need to imagine your characters as actual people. Sure you know how you want your character to look, and what kind of personality you'd like them to have, but do you really know them? If you think of it in a way that can be applied to real life....When you see a stranger on the street, you make a predetermined judgement of them. As sad as that is to say it's true. You see a woman covered with tattoos and piercings pushing a small child in a shopping cart at the local grocery store you may think that she's not a good example for that child...BUT you do not know her. You do not know what her home life is like or why she has those tattoos, or why she decided to color her hair green. We all come from different walks of life and our actions have a purpose. So, it's important to think of these things even when creating someone that doesn't exist.
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