14.01.29 Emily Dickinson - 374 (928) : A Response

    I read through all of the Emily Dickinson sonnets that were featured in this second packet. While this is not my favorite one, her work never fails to impress. The first thing that I noticed about this particular piece was that there were many odd words that had been capitalized. Whether or not this was done purposefully I am not sure. But, part of me believes that this serves as a purpose for this sonnet.
On a whim I took all of the capitalized words in this piece and placed them in order to see if it made any sense.
I came up with the following.

The Heart Banks
It Sea Bass
And Blue Monotony
Till Hurricane
And Area
The Heart
That Calm
Wall Of Gauze
An Push
A Questioning

I was told by one of my class mates that they believed that Emily Dickinson wrote a piece that could be sung to the rhythm of 'Amazing Grace.' I find this to be true when it comes to the capitalized words of this sonnet. Perhaps this could be another way of adding emphasis to these words, other than capitalizing them where they do not need to be capitalized?
    As far as the whole sonnet goes there were a few lines that seemed to stand out to me. The first line would be a good example. Dickinson writes, "The Heart has narrow Banks It measures like the Sea" When I think of an actual human heart I always envision the four chambers that it has. However, the way that Dickinson has described it here, I can't help but envision a red sea. Blood from our hearts pouring into this vast area to spread to the world. Perhaps this could be a biblical reference? I had read another one of Dickinson's works and that also seemed to reference a sort of religious undertone.
The next line that caught my attention was "The Heart convulsive learns That Calm is but a Wall..."
The reason that I seemed to pay special attention to this part was because of the imagery that it created for me. From the beginning I felt as if I had been placed on a sandy beach. This line seemed to create a dark cloudy sky above, and hint to a danger ahead. 'That Calm is but a Wall..' This reminds me of 'the eye of the storm.' That moment when everything is calm but you know that danger is approaching and will hit harder and cause more destruction than before.
The final words of this piece state "An instant's Push demolishes A Questioning dissolves" To me this is saying that at any given time everything could be taken from you. Your life is not decided by you...but it is decided for you. You have already a predetermined destiny. Which seems to be a very bleak, yet enlightening sort of view of the world to me. However, asking questions allows for this destruction to lose control in its wake and 'dissolve' the hardships that you seem to be facing. It's almost like interrupting a wave.
   If you pretend that you are in a bathtub...the ripples are spreading outward from the faucet because of the flowing water. You shut the water off because the tub is almost full. But still the ripples continue to spread. Until they hit the sides of the tub, Then you notice that they seem to bounce backward from where they came. What does this have to do with anything?
If you think of it in a way that these ripples are waves that are created by the push (the destruction) and the sides of the tub are the dissolve (the questions) You can see that the questions force the destruction to move in another direction completely, and even lose some of its momentum.
    I know the whole 'bathtub' thing was kind of a strange analogy but it was the first thing that came to mind other than Grandmother Willow in the Disney version of Pocahontas.
I've grown fond of Emily Dickinson as a writer. I hope that I can come across more of her work and perhaps draw some inspiration from her pieces. It seems like she knows what she's doing.

14.01.21 Julia Cameron : Response / Begin Initiation Tool

   I was assigned to read a portion of a novel written by Julia Cameron. The right to Write. It was a very interesting read for me, because of the fact that it put all of my anxieties into perspective when it came to the act of putting words onto paper. Cameron states early on that "It's a luxury to be in the mood to write." When I think about this I wonder how often I've put off writing an essay or report for classes because I told myself that I 'didn't feel like writing' at the moment. Which heightened my anxiety to write something that my high school English teacher would ask me to keep and distribute to the class as an example of what the assigned essay should read like. I've always thought that if I wrote something it was supposed to provoke some sort of "untouched" and philosophical thought. Because of this preconceived notion that I had, more often than not have my papers fallen short of their true potential. Rough drafts were seen as final drafts that had to be cohesive and understandable.
As Cameron mentions "We are trained to self-doubt, to self-security in the place of self-expression...As a result most of us try to write too carefully. We try to do it 'right.'" It's true that when we stop thinking and actually start "from where we are" then we can completely get our points or ideas across in such a way that is easiest for ourselves, the writer. But we are always editing as we go along, and changing things because we think it doesn't sound right or sound 'smart.' Because writing is supposed to be one of those 'hobbies' that smart people enjoy right? We need to have an expansive vocabulary and be overly descriptive with our settings in order to be considered a 'good writer.' But, sadly that's not always how it can, or should be done.

   By the end of the first chapter Cameron creates an activity for her readers to partake in, in order for them to get a better feel for the very act of writing. So, for this blog response I wanted to use that activity as a starting point. The instructions call for a three page piece of writing, though I do not think that it will be necessary for me to go that far. "Begin where you are; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Write about anything and everything that crosses your mind."

Initiation Tool

   I'm sitting at my dining room table with my textbooks and schoolwork spread out into an organized chaos. It's my way of doing multiple things at once. In a separate window I've pulled up the complete first season of Whose Line is it Anyway. Needless to say I am a distracted multitasker. (I'm not quite sure how you would go about spelling that.) 

   I believe that my apartment is starting to loose heat faster and faster with each day that goes by. Especially with this weather that's been heading our way. I feel my muscles tense up when a draft blows in. My shoulders feel as if they're up to my ears in an attempt to maintain my body temperature. The drafts don't appear to have an effect on my cats. They're busy taking their evening naps at the moment. Both sprawled out laying on the living room floor. Myles has contorted himself into such an awkward position, his hind legs are now up by his head. The pair of them look peaceful, but I know this won't last for long. They'll be up and running again soon enough terrorizing each other and clawing the couch. It's interesting to think about what life would be like to be a cat. I can't imagine sleeping that much.

   This episode of Whose Line has one of my favorite "greatest hits" sketches. Wayne Brady has some extraordinary talent when it comes to music. However, Colin Mochrie has to be my absolute favorite actor on the show. "It all started with a badly timed bald joke!" I'm starting to feel my exhaustion but I think I have time for maybe just one more episode. 

   This exercise has shown me that I am still afraid of simply writing about anything...I'm afraid to make mistakes and I can't allow the words to flow because I'm afraid of looking stupid or sounding trivial and naive. But, perhaps with a little practice I can get better with that fear of mine. Because there's no 'write' or wrong way to write.......right? 

You see what I did there? 

14.01.14 In the Tree : a response

From: [four] Factorial Journal Summer 2005

In the Tree

   I have always been partial to poems that were shorter in length. Not because I don't enjoy reading them, but because often times when you cram metaphor after metaphor into a piece, in my opinion it becomes diluted and almost a chore to read through and make sense of. Then again, that could just be the effect of my short attention span. 
   The author uses metaphors throughout the piece. "The rain in the bright afternoon comes in through my eyes and courses endlessly through the inside of my body. The late night rain comes in through my ears and fills my skull..." I saw the 'rain' as a metaphor for either knowledge, new information, nourishment, or maybe even pride. 'Rain' that comes in the bright afternoon is more easily seen, or easily obtained and will last or be 'distributed' throughout our bodies and lives. Whereas, 'rain' that comes in the late night, is much less understood. Maybe even abused because of the fact that it is misinterpreted for what it really is. Which unfortunately leads to the 'swelling' of our minds that is described in the poem. 
This however is merely my interpretation of what the author is trying to describe.
   There is a great use of imagery in this piece. There is also a relaxation brought with the subject matter of the poem. Rain itself could be described as something relaxing or soothing to those who enjoy it. As well as the swaying of trees lazily in the wind. When the author describes the 'swelling' of their brain, I cannot help but think of a towel and how it absorbs water if accidentally dropped into a bathtub. The towel becomes heavy and hard to handle, much like the author's mind when it has swelled from the rain. This to me shows that the author of this piece was successful in their use of imagery. Because, whether the image in the reader's mind was the actual image the author was trying to convey, or something totally off track; to me the fact that the poem has created an image in the mind of the reader is a successful use of imagery in my eyes. 
No pun intended. 
   Overall, I found this poem enjoyable to read, and I seem to create a new interpretation each time that I read it over again. This poem to me could almost be compared to a painting. There's something hidden that you miss the first few times that you skim through it. But, if you look beyond the foreground then you achieve more of an understanding of the painting's content. 

Hiya

My name is Carlee Sharma
I was born and raised in the south western area of Michigan. (Right by the lake!!) I'm currently pursuing my bachelor's degree in visual arts to become an art teacher. I love the smell of books, and I have a borderline unhealthy obsession with cats. (My boyfriend actually built me a 5ft tall cat tree as my Christmas present this year!) I actually have distant plans to one day open a stray cat shelter that will be run out of my house!
I have a great love for visual arts and theater that has been with me since childhood. I'm especially fond of musicals and was lucky enough to be apart of a few back in high school!
I have never been on an airplane, but I have operated a crane at a scrap metal shop! I can't go underwater without plugging my nose, and I always have room for some chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
I can't say that I'm the most interesting person you will meet, but I have yet to meet another person like me.

14.01.07

    I have had a "love/hate" relationship with writing for as long as I can remember. There will be days when my ideas seem to speak for themselves. Then, I will have times when I cannot complete a single sentence without revising, second guessing or reworking the entire thought. I've started many books, blogs, short stories, and poems that later go unfinished and are left to be forgotten. Like most writers, I am my own worst critic, and I hope that I can work on allowing myself to make mistakes and not be so afraid of criticism and judgement. It's also difficult for me to stay focused on one topic, or rather, to seamlessly transition into another thought while maintaining a cohesiveness to any writing that I do. Using the current moment as an example; I am fighting every urge to explain to you how incredibly adorable my cats are. Because, they are currently chasing a small football across the living room floor as I write this blog post and I just can't stop laughing. (If that gives you any sort of insight on how my brain works.)
     Most of my writing in the past has been created with personal experience in mind. Except in third grade, I wrote a book about an invisible dog and a girl who lived in a cardboard box. (I got an award from Reading Rainbow for that one.) Because I was creating stories that were based upon personal experiences, I was revisiting conflicts in my life that I shouldn't and didn't want to dwell on. Writing became a hobby for me that would send me into a state of depression; I didn't enjoy it as I had before. I felt an obligation that my writing was supposed to inflect some sort of 'deep' and philosophical thought in order to be considered 'good.' I believe I've gotten better about that with age.

I also forgot there's another thing that I have problems with...
Endings.