14.01.21 Julia Cameron : Response / Begin Initiation Tool

   I was assigned to read a portion of a novel written by Julia Cameron. The right to Write. It was a very interesting read for me, because of the fact that it put all of my anxieties into perspective when it came to the act of putting words onto paper. Cameron states early on that "It's a luxury to be in the mood to write." When I think about this I wonder how often I've put off writing an essay or report for classes because I told myself that I 'didn't feel like writing' at the moment. Which heightened my anxiety to write something that my high school English teacher would ask me to keep and distribute to the class as an example of what the assigned essay should read like. I've always thought that if I wrote something it was supposed to provoke some sort of "untouched" and philosophical thought. Because of this preconceived notion that I had, more often than not have my papers fallen short of their true potential. Rough drafts were seen as final drafts that had to be cohesive and understandable.
As Cameron mentions "We are trained to self-doubt, to self-security in the place of self-expression...As a result most of us try to write too carefully. We try to do it 'right.'" It's true that when we stop thinking and actually start "from where we are" then we can completely get our points or ideas across in such a way that is easiest for ourselves, the writer. But we are always editing as we go along, and changing things because we think it doesn't sound right or sound 'smart.' Because writing is supposed to be one of those 'hobbies' that smart people enjoy right? We need to have an expansive vocabulary and be overly descriptive with our settings in order to be considered a 'good writer.' But, sadly that's not always how it can, or should be done.

   By the end of the first chapter Cameron creates an activity for her readers to partake in, in order for them to get a better feel for the very act of writing. So, for this blog response I wanted to use that activity as a starting point. The instructions call for a three page piece of writing, though I do not think that it will be necessary for me to go that far. "Begin where you are; physically, emotionally, and psychologically. Write about anything and everything that crosses your mind."

Initiation Tool

   I'm sitting at my dining room table with my textbooks and schoolwork spread out into an organized chaos. It's my way of doing multiple things at once. In a separate window I've pulled up the complete first season of Whose Line is it Anyway. Needless to say I am a distracted multitasker. (I'm not quite sure how you would go about spelling that.) 

   I believe that my apartment is starting to loose heat faster and faster with each day that goes by. Especially with this weather that's been heading our way. I feel my muscles tense up when a draft blows in. My shoulders feel as if they're up to my ears in an attempt to maintain my body temperature. The drafts don't appear to have an effect on my cats. They're busy taking their evening naps at the moment. Both sprawled out laying on the living room floor. Myles has contorted himself into such an awkward position, his hind legs are now up by his head. The pair of them look peaceful, but I know this won't last for long. They'll be up and running again soon enough terrorizing each other and clawing the couch. It's interesting to think about what life would be like to be a cat. I can't imagine sleeping that much.

   This episode of Whose Line has one of my favorite "greatest hits" sketches. Wayne Brady has some extraordinary talent when it comes to music. However, Colin Mochrie has to be my absolute favorite actor on the show. "It all started with a badly timed bald joke!" I'm starting to feel my exhaustion but I think I have time for maybe just one more episode. 

   This exercise has shown me that I am still afraid of simply writing about anything...I'm afraid to make mistakes and I can't allow the words to flow because I'm afraid of looking stupid or sounding trivial and naive. But, perhaps with a little practice I can get better with that fear of mine. Because there's no 'write' or wrong way to write.......right? 

You see what I did there?